i follow a handful of bisexual blogs and from time to time i see asks in which people are confused or questioning or they say something like “i think i may be bisexual, but i’ve never been in a relationship with this gender or that gender, so how can i be so sure.”
when i was in the process of accepting/discovering/etc. my sexuality i told a friend that i had realized that there’s a big difference between thinking you might like something and actually liking something. meaning it’s about coming to terms with something that’s always been there and weighing the outcome of that realization.
if you even feel a flicker of attraction for the same gender (or opposite) and the thought lingers or stirs something within you - you don’t really have to let the thought marinate until you’ve experienced the same gender (or opposite). there’s no need to justify to anyone your level of attraction for this gender or that.
speaking of justification: my favorite thing is when some people doubt the validity of bisexuality. as if you need to have dated this many men or this many women to be a “real bisexual” - or if you haven’t dated either gender or only one gender than you aren’t really bisexual. it’s the same thing as asking, “well how do you know you’re gay if you haven’t been with this gender or that gender?”
when i was in that phase of exploration, i asked myself the same things and i finally started to question those common bisexual stereotypes and realized that even though stereotypes are based on some truth they don’t apply to every individual.
i considered the thought of myself actually being homosexual, but i thought of the guys i had dated and my feelings toward them and i personally couldn’t discredit that even though i had the same feelings toward women.
i’m not “greedy”, “confused”, “disloyal”, or a “cheater” - if i were in a relationship with a woman, for example, and i left them for a man it doesn’t mean they didn’t satisfy me or fulfill me because they weren’t the gender i needed/wanted at that particular time - it just means that something didn’t workout between us. (and it also doesn’t mean that i’m not a “real bisexual” or i’m actually heterosexual or i’m actually homosexual.)